Layers of Relationship
By Nura Laird
The heart is our inner temple. It's the focus of our healing and transformation, including the development of our primary relationship. Even though God is everywhere, there's something special about our heart as the chalice of God. According to the Sufis, God says, "Neither My heavens nor My earth can contain Me. Only the heart of My beloved can contain Me." By " heart" we don't mean the organ itself; we mean the area of the whole chest from the throat almost down to the solar plexus, and across the chest. The center of this area is a tender place over the sternum. This is the focus of our relationship work.
The heart contains four primary layers. We refer to these layers as "the four worlds," and we label them, from outermost to innermost, nafs, heart, soul, and secret. The first and outermost layer of the heart corresponds to our personality or ego. It includes the physical body and corresponds to the manifest, three-dimensional world of creation. Most people exist primarily in this outer layer of their heart; they experience themselves and the world through the lens of this layer, and don't notice the more subtle, "unseen" levels of existence. This level is defined by our needs, desires, sensory perceptions and egoic identity. When your primary identity resides in this outer layer, you are primarily involved with the material world, which we call "mulk." A relationship that exists on this level primarily revolves around placing expectations on the partner to meet one's own needs and desires. So a typical statement on this level would be: "I need/want you to. "
Traveling deeper, the second layer is called "the giving heart." This is the layer where love comes alive, where a desire for divine relationship and service awakens, where we yearn to give to others and to serve them, as we would want to be served. It's where we access the higher emotions of unconditional love, compassion and beneficence. In existence, this is the realm of jinns, angels, and other non-physical beings, and also contains the energetic etheric level of all of creation. What's contained in this layer is generally considered unreal and unseen by the culture at large. We call this world "malakut." When a couple relates from this world, they naturally want to serve the other, and put the other's needs in front of their own. A typical statement at this level would be: "How can I serve you? How can I enrich your life?"
Behind the giving heart is the third layer, the soul. This layer contains the 99 qualities of God that comprise the human soul. This is where we carry the light of our own individual divinity. It is an inner world of light and expansiveness, a beautiful world to explore. When we live in the soul, we begin to know who we are and why God placed us here on earth. We know our holiness, our purpose. This is deeply fulfilling. As we access the soul, our human qualities become cleaned or unveiled, giving way to the divine qualities that we carry. Thus begins our divine unfoldment. We call this world "jabarut," and it is much more subtle than the other two. In a soul-based relationship, each partner perceives and celebrates the beauty and essence of the other. A typical statement in such a relationship would be: "What a beautiful being you are! How grateful I am to be in relationship with you!"
Deep inside the heart is the fourth layer, which we call "the secret." It is the most subtle. This is the world of God, or "lahut," the realm of the Absolute, where we experience the actual presence of God. This layer is similar to the unified field in physics; it is almost attribute-less. There is no personal identity. It's very subtle, delicate and sacred. It's indefinable, unspeakable, and yet very real. It can feel empty and full at the same time. In this world there is only unity, the One. So partners relating in the unity would not experience their two-ness, nor any differences or distinctions. Their needs are met by their union with God, so they experience only love in the relationship. This is pure being.
To access these worlds, we travel through the layers into the innermost depths of our heart. When we reach to the secret inside our deepest heart, we taste the essence of God and know the truth of what we are. Our whole life, our experience of our self and of everyone and everything changes. If we let our self sink into this dimension and live from this place, we experience our divinity, and know that nothing else exists but God. This is the essence of the Sufi way.
wallahualam.
Nura Laird M.Ed. is faculty of The JI School of Spiritual Healing and Sufism. Nura has extensive training and experience in teaching and counseling children and adults. She teaches workshops all across the country leading people to restore and develop healthy, dynamic, spiritual relationships and families.
taken from: http://www.jaffeinstitute.org/Reading/layers_of_relationship.php
